I just have to laugh at the recent dust-up over the Blue Boutique moving to a more residential area.

Now as Rebecca Walsh pointed out in her column yesterday, Utah always seems to have the occasional “house of ill repute moving into a God fearing community” issue pop up every five years or so. Part of me just wants to accept that this will be the case; however the bigger part of me is always flabbergasted by the hypocrisy and utter lack of logic that inevitability pops up.

So let us go over the arguments. First off opponents of the Blue Boutique claim that the new shop will be too close to a public park, school and even ice cream shop. Now it is true that the new store will be across the street from Sugar House Park and 700 yards from the closest entrance to Highland High, and it is true that people wishing to patronize either the park or school run the risk of actually having to view the store.

Second is the classic “think of the children” argument. If this shop is allowed to open up the community will become a den of sin and vice, utterly devoid of any reason for living in the area, only populated by sexual deviants. Furthermore the youths who have to pass by the store on their way home from school will be subjugated to lewd sexual imagery that will corrupt their innocent little minds; this will inevitably lead them to premarital sex and underage debauchery.

Now councilman elect J.T. Martin has been vocal on the issue, and from what I can gather he even turned it into a campaign issue; he has even gone so far as to hold community meetings in the back of his store, Emigration Market, on the issue. He has said that “I don’t care if you have one rubber penis or you have 15. If you have one, you are an SOB (sexually oriented business),” and “I do not think it’s appropriate in a neighborhood commercial zone. These folks live right here.” I have read similar arguments claiming that any sexually oriented merchandise is inappropriate for a neighborhood store. If you sell a sexually oriented item, you should not be allowed to set up shop. Opponents acknowledge that Blue Boutique is technically following the law, however they feel that the store violates the spirit of the law.

Now before I dive into why these people are wrong, let me start my arguments by saying that I live less than two miles (as the crow flies) from the Blue Boutique located on North Temple and 800 west; this location is three blocks away from the State Fair Park, a block away from Jackson Elementary and six blocks away from my alma matter, West High. I want to say they opened up about a year ago, and residents in the area raised similar complaints. I am aware of the influence a Blue Boutique does and does not have on my area. It is rare for me to step into a business of this nature; I have never gone to a Blue Boutique or stepped into a “back room.”

Now I have done some research and, through Google Maps, discovered something rather interesting. As the Figure 1-1 clearly demonstrates 1300 east possesses a force field specially designed to prevent students from traveling west and perv’s from traveling east. If the store moves things will become all topsy-turvy and chaos will inevitably ensue.

I am sorry, but it is just absurd to think that the people frequenting Blue Boutique are fine when they are a half a mile away further from your home then they would be now. Now I know we live in a car culture and three whole blocks can seem like an insurmountable distance to some, but let’s be honest, what is the real difference between a shop like this being less than a mile away from a school or less than half a mile away? Are students really that physically inactive or unwilling to drive the extra block to see the back room? If someone can adequately explain that to me, that would be great.

I also have to ask where these residents were when the Blue Boutique were when the shop near my house opened? And are the people who protested the shop in my neighborhood protesting this new shop? My guess is they were nowhere to be found back then and perhaps one resident is actually on a moral crusade. The simple fact of the matter is that elitism has reared its ugly head yet again. The NIMBY effect is in full swing – how dare they set up shop near where I live?! Those West-siders, though, they deserve it, after all they are the type of people who like that type of thing.

We must also examine the legal ramifications of actually running this store out of town. The only way to prevent the store from opening at this point is to change the law and either lower the percentage of sexually explicit objects that can be sold in a store without qualifying as a sexually oriented business or outright banning stores that sell sexual items. If many of these moral objectors had their way, they would protest even if “the portion of a store’s (sexually oriented) inventory is 15 percent or 100 percent, it is not appropriate to have it in a family neighborhood next to a family park, ice cream store and neighborhood school.” If any amount was unacceptable the local 7-11 or Wal-Mart would have to change its status because it sells condoms and lube, but I doubt that people who are against the Blue Boutique have adequately thought this point through.

I also have to ask “where are the responsible parents in all of this?” If you are honestly concerned about Little Johnny or Suzie buying dildos, lube and condoms, perhaps it is time to sit down with him/her and actually have the talk about the birds and the bees. Oh, wait, that’s right, abstinence is the proper mode of preventing underaged and premarital sex; and lets not forget good ol’ fashion denial. I remember when I was in high school I never thought about sex until I happened to drive by the original Blue Boutique store.

But I am concerned about the utter lack of citations Blue Boutique has received for selling suggestive materials to minors – it is almost as if the store is a responsible business and has no desire of breaking the law. And as for people at the park, let me just say that I am constantly amazed by how we have to legislate being an adult in this state. You don’t always have to protect me from myself. I don’t like a store, I don’t go there, but don’t take away my option simply because you don’t like it. If you don’t like Blue Boutique, don’t go there; let the free market rule on this one.

Stop protesting, stop complaining, stop threatening to take pictures of patrons and posting them on the Internet. Accept the fact that the Blue Boutique will not put the idea of sex into your children’s head. Accept the fact that adults should be allowed to do adult things; and for Christ sake, be a parent if you are that concerned.