I was debating an interesting question last night at the bar – Why can’t homosexuals accept that baby-steps need to happen in order to get the rights they deserve? I formulated a quick answer that I feel deserves greater expansion. I say this with the caveat that I am not gay myself, and that this is just a theory – I fully welcome debate on his topic.
First – The gay (I will use this as shorthand for the entire GLBT community) civil rights movement is fundamentally different than other civil rights movements because someone does not “know” they are gay until they have reached a certain level of development. This, as opposed to being black or a woman, means that no one inherently knows that they are being discriminated against until they have reached a different level in their life.
Second – The period of time before someone becomes aware of their sexuality, when they are asexual, is during the time of early childhood development. This time is marked by a period of general awareness of the world around them and, as a consequence, creates a framework for how the world should work. One of the things that we receive in this culture, from a very early age, is the idea of what America is – the land of the free, an effort to create a more perfect union, and the idea that “we the people” live in a nation where “all men are created equal” and so forth.
Third – Because the yet-to-be-gay individual has not been discriminated against up until the point where they reach sexual maturity, it strikes the individual that the system they though they believed in has not lived up to its creed. Indeed this is why so many people struggle with coming out in the first place – I can not imagine how hard it would be to knowing and willingly enter a system that is stacked against me.
Fourth – This ideal is not lost, however, and many in the gay community know that this nation is capable of making great strides for equality. It is for this reason that they attempt to make and pass laws in favor of equality. But, as I stated in my third point, gay individuals were not inherently discriminated against due to their sexuality until they became sexual creatures – in other words they had all the rights as everyone else on the playground until a certain point.
Fifth – Black and female discrimination was (and in many ways still is) obvious from birth, and this creates an attitude that instills a sense of steady progress in order to make real gains. These types of discrimination have existed for many years, and it will take many years to break them down. Furthermore black parents will have black children and girls come from women – over the millennia this creates different attitudes towards the discrimination and fosters a system that will fight for small gains. Gay children do not necessarily come from gay parents and so the same sense of small gains is not there.
And it is for this reason that gays have demand so much in such a short period of time. None of them lost rights until later in life due to their sexuality and, indeed the white men, had no idea at all when they were young that they could be discriminated against. This shock of loss swings the pendulum so far in one direction that it is only natural to ask (and indeed demand) for a equal swing, with just as great a magnitude, in the other direction.
I am in favor of full rights for gays under the law, and I would like to see this happen immediately. The issue is that, from my perspective (one of a white, heterosexual, middle-class, man) is that this simply will not happen in the next year or five, or even ten. My admittedly outsider perspective is that the gay community must adopt an attitude from the old proverb: Half a loaf of bread is better than no loaf at all.
Now, please, do not misunderstand me – there needs to be people demand that full loaf, and there needs to be people fighting for that full loaf knowing that they probably will not get any. This allows us all who believe in equal rights to have that final goal in mind and strive for it. But what I think many are missing at this point is that a small victory is still a victory.
We all know that the bigots of this world are fighting to put up legal barriers now because they know that they simply won’t be able to in five years and that most of these laws will be off the books in ten to fifteen. Finally (as has been the case with other civil rights movements) it will take about twenty or so years for rights to be fully recognized under the law. Is it fair? No. Is it right? Of course not. But the greatest advantage a democracy has is that it moves slowly and, likewise the greatest disadvantage is that it moves slowly.
I get your point. But, we have to continue demanding the whole loaf.
And a good example of why:
If the “gay” community accepts a non-discrimination bill that doesn’t include the transvestite protections, that leaves our brothers and sisters who have worked hard WITH us out. That means that when “hate crimes” are reported, it leaves out the people who are murdered for being transvestite or transsexual. It means that most of us move a step forward but that we’re willing to leave some behind.
We can’t do that, and we won’t. We cannot stop demanding EVERY right we should have, and could have, and need to have. And we won’t leave anyone behind.
Misty,
Good point, and one I had not honestly considered.
But your point speaks to the fact that this is a civil rights movement that is different from all the others. So, yes, perhaps it does require a full loaf.
I am still working off the assumption that these things take time and that it is exponentially more difficult to fight this fight if small victories are not part of the overall equation.
I want to emphasize that I fully acknowledge that this is not right or fair, but it does take into account the world who is far less accepting of the GLBT community.
It is wrong if transgendered people are not included in a hate crimes bill, but it is still a step forward for society to accept (though the institution of government and law) that gays and lesbians are accepted. Once you get that toe hold in, the rest will fall into line.
Thanks for the comment, and, like I said, I honestly do welcome debate on this one – I am interested in hearing what people think.